In the tapestry of my childhood dreams, I yearned to be an Indian, enchanted by visions of tents, communal living, and the unspoiled embrace of nature. Yet, the realization dawned early that destiny had other plans.
At the tender age of six, my grandmother shattered my Indian dreams with the stark truth: biologically, I couldn’t become one. Later, the dissonance between my TV-fueled imagination and the lived experiences of indigenous people became evident to me—a lesson in privilege and perspective.
Shattered Aspirations: Navigating Life’s Curveballs
Simultaneously, another dream unfolded and disintegrated. GDR scouts sought future gymnastics Olympians, and I, petite and agile, met the criteria. Alas, my mother’s veto redirected my path. What did my preschool self comprehend about the intricate world of competitive sports in the GDR?
Quest for Identity: From Gymnastics to Biochemistry
The journey to define my aspirations continued, marked by shifts. A fleeting desire to be a biochemist waned as the intricacies of biology and chemistry failed to capture my genuine interest. Legal studies briefly beckoned, but love led me to Dresden. I even stumbled upon North American Indigenous Studies in the course catalog. I contemplated it for about a second. I just didn’t have enough imagination as to what the career prospects would be with such a degree.
So, industrial engineering became my academic pursuit, specializing in medical device technology and economics of the health care system. It was a path where I learned to calibrate pacemakers and harbored an early disdain for Mr. Lauterbach’s ever-present bow tie (and his health care politics).
Political Ventures: Navigating the Sea of Ideals
Life’s unpredictability unfolded further. In the political arena, I found myself in the East faction of the West offshoot of what was to become DieLinke. I learned to realize that standing between all chairs, though not comfortable at all, is sometimes the only choice to make. I left the project disappointed, disillusioned, yet with a strong belief that another world must be possible—and that we are the only ones who can bring about change; no one will come to save us.
Easier said than done. Whether it was a house, a magazine, or an online news outlet, my subsequent political endeavors brought more disappointment and disillusionment. This journey solidified my unwavering belief that true change will elude us unless we master the art of conflict resolution, especially in the domain of ‘better world politics.’
Unraveling the Paths of Education
I took a break and delved into my academic pursuits. The interweaving strands of educational science and computer science created a tapestry that I proudly embrace. Far from being unlived lives, they were intricately connected with the challenges posed by the Corona lockdowns. As institutions closed their doors, the constraints of a computer-centric existence became increasingly evident.
Yoga emerged as a therapeutic balm amid life’s chaos. Teacher training completion, a positive pregnancy test, and the subsequent heartbreak of miscarriages painted a different trajectory—one of resilience, fortitude, and unexpected detours.
As the year draws to a close, it’s a moment for reflection and forward planning. Life’s trajectory isn’t solely determined by our decisions, but we do hold the power to shape our journey. Leonie Dawson’s Goal Getter Workbooks have been a guiding light for me, urging introspection and vision. One of the exercises involves creating a dream board for the upcoming year. Here’s a glimpse into my aspirations for 2024:
If you find yourself amidst chaos, feeling out of sync with your desires, yoga, in my experience, offers a transformative remedy. Engage in practices that nurture your body, find solace within, gather strength for the broader challenges, and cultivate resilience for your personal goals. Rediscover the freedom to dream. It’s worth the exploration!
